Miss Meet - Insert expletive here | The Planner

I consider myself a bit of a doyenne in the industry, I have not only been around the block ,I have been over and under it. Yet from time to time I’m still amazed at some of the requests I have received from delegates and clients. Being the professional that i am, i bite my tongue and reply in the most diplomatic way possible. Here are my favourite requests and my uncensored answers…

SCENARIO: EVENT ATTENDEE TO REGISTRATION DESK STAFF
REQUEST: No, I didnโ€™t bring proof of payment because my finance department told me they had made arrangements to pay later. Didnโ€™t they phone you?
ANSWER: Methinks not.

REQUEST: Would you mind keeping my mobile phone with you at the registration desk while Iโ€™m in the conference and take messages for me please?
ANSWER: Certainly and, while Iโ€™m at it, would you like a backrub with that?

SCENARIO: FROM AN ATTENDEE NOT REGISTERED TO EXHIBIT OR SPONSOR
REQUEST: Iโ€™ve taken the liberty of bringing some company brochures with me in the hope that you will hand these out to all the attendees when they register please.
ANSWER: Iโ€™m going to take the liberty to decline.

SCENARIO: COMPANY DIRECTOR TO EVENT MANAGER AT STAFF YEAR-END FUNCTION
REQUEST: So weโ€™ve paid for all this food on the buffet? Yes?ย  Please tell the kitchen to put the leftover food in Tupperware containers and get these across to the fridge at the office to use for next weekโ€™s board meeting.
ANSWER: I have an idea. Why donโ€™t you tell the kitchen and while youโ€™re at it ask them to for a health and safety update on removing food from the venue.

SCENARIO: REGULAR WORKSHOP PRESENTER TO EVENT MANAGER
REQUEST: As you know, I often run my own in-house training as well. Please can you get your team to collect the leftover notepads and pens after this workshop so I can use these during my training sessions โ€“ you know, to save overheads.
ANSWER: Sure. Just as a matter of interest, how do you structure your in-house workshop delegate fees when you have sponsored notepads and pens?ย  Itโ€™s a great concept Iโ€™d like us to look into for our company.

SCENARIO: EVENT ATTENDEE TO EVENT MANAGER AT EVENT
REQUEST: What are the chances of getting a speaking or marketing slot during the conference?
ANSWER: Same as the chances of me getting paid overtime for staying till the end of tonightโ€™s post-conference cocktail party.

REQUEST: When I come through to the movies on a weekend, I park in the conference centre parking. Would it be in order if I took the leftover parking vouchers to use?
ANSWER: Sure. Would you like me to assist you in finding a sponsor for the movie and your popcorn as well?

REQUEST: I am not going to make the lunch today, as my car is in for a service and I need to collect it during lunch time. Can I get a refund on the lunch?
ANSWER: Why donโ€™t you stay for lunch and Iโ€™ll get your car.

REQUEST: The MC mentioned that we can take the centre pieces home after the event.ย  Iโ€™ve taken two โ€“ they really are beautiful. Would you be able to get your driver to drop these for me at my home in the morning?
ANSWER: Why donโ€™t I drop these at your house on my way back from fetching your car from its serviceโ€ฆ just saying!

I clearly understand that these above requests are often based on what a person thinks we do and of course their warped sense of entitlement.ย