For Miss Meet, the dictionary just doesn’t provide accurate definitions for what goes on at events.
Truth be told, I have never come across a single correct definition or explanation of all the different aspects that make up our industry. As a result, based on my many years of experience, I have started putting together my own event glossary. Below are some of my more creative definitions. Just a quick disclaimer – all definitions are unapproved by any meeting or event body. Still, I know they will agree.
ACCREDITATION The best (and most diplomatic) way to keep out dodgy wannabes at your events.
BUFFET The menu choice you go with after the last five years of pre-plated, pre-selected foods have resulted in complaints about underdone fillet, allergic reactions to the prawns and helpings being far too small.
CLIPBOARD A small board with a spring clip at the top, used for holding papers, providing support for writing and giving you complete access to the entire event.
CONFIRMATION LETTER A letter that an events manager sends out to attendees to answer any questions that may possibly arise. In reality, this is a waste of time because none of the attendees actually bother to read this – judging by the number of calls that one receives after this letter has gone out.
DIRECTIONAL SIGNAGE The professional and costly branded signs which event managers put up at an event to help attendees find the correct venues, but as with the confirmation letter, they are the only ones that actually see and read these.
EVENT DISCLAIMER If I kill you it’s not my fault.
FLOOR PLAN A precise and schematic drawing of a function room indicating specific requirements that goes out the window when you arrive onsite and realise that in practice it just ain’t gonna work.
SOUND CHECK The hour before the event is scheduled to start, all the audiovisual equipment will actually be working. After that, it’s touch and go.
TWO-WAY RADIO A wireless radio that keeps you in contact with your team onsite and also gets you access to pretty-much anywhere (basically a form of accreditation). It’s right up there with the clipboard.
PROMO GIRLS Leggy blondes and brunettes that have mastered the art of making 40-something males believe that they still have it.
WALK-IN A person that arrives at your event unannounced and has the gift of making you feel that it’s all your fault that their name is not on the list.
