Alvin Govender, international performance coach and business strategist, provides steps that can be taken to assess the past year with balance, compassion, and purpose to set the stage for future success.ย
As October arrives, we all feel it approachingโฆ We feel mounting pressure when we spy the first sets of Christmas decor in our local shops. The fact that itโs the last quarter of the year dawns on us, and we are hurtling towards โSilly Season.โ
I want to challenge the notion of the season being silly. The end of a year is often just as meaningful, if not more so, than the beginning, and I like to use this time to take stock of the most significant moments in the year.
The power of looking within
Itโs important as a first step to define self-reflection. With my coaching experience, I have produced a definition. Firstly, itโs going inward and reflecting on your progress and challenges while reserving self-judgement or criticism. Itโs a task where the desired outcome is focused on growth.
The average person spends up to 90% of their time giving most of their attention to the external world, focusing on task completion. What too often gets lost is how other people encounter you: your tone, body language and how you respond to others. These โblind spotsโ are normal for everyone, as most of our behaviour is rooted in the subconscious. However, itโs important because this is how the rest of the world experiences you.
Through self-reflection, I want you to tap into your own โblind spotsโ and try to understand how other people may develop their understanding of you. Once you gain this awareness, self-reflection will be easier to adopt and will help you lead and behave more consciously.
There is a wealth of knowledge to be gained through self-reflection. Looking back at both good and tumultuous times to re-examine yourself unlocks key learnings on your strengths, as well as crucial conversations you may need to have.
Why self-reflect now?
The end of the year leaves everyone feeling stretched but allowing yourself the time to reflect is a crucial element of self-care, forcing you to be an active participant in building the future you desire, with less room for excuses. Taking ownership of introspection builds your emotional intelligence, a key factor that aids success.
The grey area between the end of a year and the start of the new one, where we all lose track of the dates between public holidays, is one of the best times to commit to this practice.
There are fewer distractions, with more leisure time available, and prepping yourself for the start of a new year with tangible goals helps to alleviate pressure when the normal pace of life resumes.
Balancing out compassion and bias
Often, I have taught leaders to reflect on a team level, and itโs a similar process to internal reflection. I have standard rules for mediating these sessions:
Don’t be too harsh. Acknowledgement is key if a mistake is made, but moving on from that is more important than sticking to that error. Focus on what could be done differently in the future.
Always start with the wins. When we look back, often a spotlight gets put on the negative, and your emotional brain is designed to highlight that negativity bias. Try to challenge that process by focusing on what went well – this sets a more productive tone as you move into what could be done better.
Set goals based on the limitations identified as part of the reason goals or wins were not achievable.
Reflect with compassion. Compassion is a sub-value of love, and the basis of self-reflection indicates that to properly engage, you must possess both self-love and acceptance.
Create a blueprint for growth
As much as I encourage you to use this time of the year for self-reflection, I also want to emphasise that this technique should be used continuously, hopefully becoming a powerful tool in your professional arsenal.
The most powerful growth technique I employ in the professional space is self-reflection. But itโs paramount that this not be used as a once-off exercise.
I learnt an incredible lesson from a CEO I once worked with. He carried a notebook with him daily, and at the end of each day, he simply wrote down two things:
What wins did I have today?
What could I have done better?
This book guided his quarterly reports, and these two simple questions did a lot to clarify the gains and roadblocks, also helping to identify patterns of behaviour or persistent problems. The questions you ask must be open-ended, and not simple yes or no questions. Other examples are: What is this experience bringing me? Why am I going through this? What could I have done better? How do I guide my team through this?
Step forward with intention
Habits are hard to break, so I suggest using this year-end period to form a new one.
Try to engage in one or two open-ended questions per day. You can choose to do this in a comfortable place, and I suggest clearing a few minutes to either meditate or journal as a part of this practice.
Try to complete this exercise at the end of your day or in your car en route home, so you donโt allow lingering negative energy to affect your family. Journaling and reflection are best done when you are calm, so if you are agitated, find someone to vent to, or write down your feelings with full permission to throw these pages away if they donโt reflect how you truly feel.
End the year well to start the next one even better.
